Edward Cullen,in my house,why me!
by BirdieTitus16
Summary: Paige Tohru Collins, and her buds have a sleepover and who comes...Ed Cullen! Here He Comes to Wreck The Day! R&R AND DONT HATE,I HAVE OPINIONS TO YA KNOW!
1. Here He Comes To Wreck The Day!

Edward Cullen….in my house……why me?!

By: BirdieTitus16

*Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, I know most of you are like, "is my husband", or "is my true love", or like me "is a jerk warded little freakazord!" hehe…….so this story is about a girl, Paige Tohru Collins, a regular eighteen-year-old who's friends are over for a sleepover and gushing about Twilight and suddenly, here's Eddie! LOL! I've wanted to write something like this foreverz! So, here it is! _**R&R AND DON'T HATE JUST B/C U LOVE EDWARD, I'VE GOT AN OPINION TOO, YA KNOW!**_ *-Robin

Twilight…..crazy ain't it?

"I-I just love Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!" My best friend, Allie squeals hugging the novel, "Breaking Dawn" to her chest.

"Yes Al, we know you just "love" Ed!" I snap grabbing my stereo remote and turning up Jake Owen's song "Yee Haw" over her screaming. *_Love that song, listen to it*_

"Oh shut up Paige!" Allie cries chunking a handful of popcorn at my face, "….you know you love Edward!"

"No Al, NO, NO, FOR THE A MILLIONTH TIME _**NO**_!"

"Lay off of her Paige!" My other friends, Izzy and Luna cry from the kitchen.

"Fine, whatever!"

"Sorry Alls," I whisper pouting at her apologetically turning off the stereo and turning on the DVD player, "...New Moon, anyone?"

Alls grins and attacks in a hug fest knocking the remote out of my hand and onto the floor roughly.

* * *

Later….

"I hate that ending! Allie cries out throwing her Edward pillow at the TV screen. *_New Moon fans know_

_what I'm talkin' 'bout_*

"So, anyone else drool over the _**RIGHT **_guy….. Jacob Black?!" I ask slyly as Alls suddenly grabs her

Bella/Edward blanket and throws it over herself.

I jump on top of my squealing blanketed friend as my other friends, Izzy and Luna giggles hysterically at

us on the couch.

"Oh, come Allie, you know I'm right"

Allie jerks up from the ground and knocks me to it and hog ties me with her blanket, crap!

"Says the girl with a middle name from an anime show!"

"Hey, I love that show and that character-," I cry out in rebuttal before a crash in the kitchen stops us.

"W-What was that?!" Luna whispers jumping off the couch and grabbing her light saber.

"Oh, sure a light saber will do you some real good!" I whisper with a giggle before grabbing my Louisville

Slugger from the side of the TV set, "….and this baseball bat is nothing compared!"

"Shut it you!" Luna snaps chunking my DVD remote at me.

"Ahh, she's so violent!" Izzy whispers cowering in fake fear on the couch.

"But, seriously who is in there... you retards?!"

I smirk confidently walking towards the kitchen until I hear a crash and… _bolt in anger!_

"HEY, THAT'S MY MOM BEST CHINA!"

"Oh my lands, Ed Cullen!" I cry out looking at my mom's favorite china plate in pieces on the floor with

that sparkly idiot standing over it in anger.

I hear screaming hysterics in the living room and Als appears immediately beside me in happy tears.

Luna and Izzy appears beside me then in shock and amusement at the thought of Ed and Als and me

under one roof.

"P-Paige…"

"Ugh…Here he comes to wreck the day!" I cry in sing song as Als cries continually in hysterics.

"Edward….you've come….FOR ME!"

"Als, NO!" Izzy, Luna and I scream holding her back as Ed looks up at in pure hatred.

"Wh-What I am doing here…_**where did you hide Bella?!"**_ Ed cries out and in vampire speed is nose to

nose with me, "…and I think it's _you_ who's got her!"

"Paige!" Als, Luna, and Izzy all cry in unison.

"You three, come look with me, I've got to find her!" Edward instructs Als, Luna, and Izzy and they all

three rush into the living room calling out her name.

"And _**you**_…."

I cringe at he's sour voice and before I could even explain, he takes me at vampire speed to the living

room and ties me up to the lazy boy with Als Ed and Bella blanket.

"If I don't find her, you're dead!"

Edward glares me down and at vampire speed runs back to my dumb best friends who are screaming

for Bella and Ed instructs them to look here, there, and yonder.

"Great…."

"_Its guitars,cadillacs, hillbilly music"_

_Oh no, my new phone, and my fav ringtone!_

"Who's phone is that?!"

_Dang it you Dwight Yoakam ringtone….and who ever's calling!_

T.B.C.

* Okay…_**I know some will hate this but don't hate in R&R's just grip at it for a few seconds and move on, don't review it if you hate it!**_ And those who do love it, R&R! DEFINTELY! R&R! MORE TO COME, IDEAS OF MORE FUNNY STUFF ARE WELCOME! *AND DWIGHT YOAKAM'S SONG, "Guitars, Cadillacs" ROCKS!*-Robin_  
_


	2. Crapola!

Edward Cullen….in my house……why me?!

2

By: BirdieTitus16

Recap-

And _**you**_…."

I cringe at he's sour voice and before I could even explain, he takes me at vampire speed to the living

room and ties me up to the lazy boy with Als Ed and Bella blanket.

"If I don't find her, you're dead!"

Edward glares me down and at vampire speed runs back to my dumb best friends who are screaming

for Bella and Ed instructs them to look here, there, and yonder.

"Great…."

"_Its guitars,cadillacs, hillbilly music"_

_Oh no, my new phone, and my fav ringtone!_

"Who's phone is that?!"

_Dang it you Dwight Yoakam ringtone….and who ever's calling!_

"Where is it?!" Ed exclaims as he turns me roughly around in the chair until my phone whips out of my

left pocket and slams onto the carpet.

"_Lonely, lonely streets that I call home…"_

Edward looks down at the ringing phone confused by the Dwight Yoakam tune and grabs it and looks in

disgust.

"Your mother?"

"OH… MY…. WORD!" I spit out slowly struggling to get out of the jump rope I was tied up in the chair.

"That's an important call!"

I continue to struggle and Edward flips open my phone, slowly and evilly puts it to his sparkly ear.

"Hello ….oh this is Masen Edwards, Paige's boyfriend….oh she hasn't mentioned…she's shy…will

do..bye"

"I COULD STAK YOU!" I scream as he sits me down and glares into my burning aqua eyes.

"You…are…pathetic"

I smile suddenly at that rude comment…oh really?!

"Says the guy who loses his true love…a very plain, dorky girl at that"

I brace myself as Ed leans up and clinches his fists, but he doesn't look at me.

"'Ello Eddie"

I jump and move my chair around to find; Spike from "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer" , standing behind me

grinning evilly.

"OH MY WORD….SPIKE YOU DA MAN!"

Spike looks down at me and grins then back up at Ed.

"Well, can you blame her?"

"Get out of here…." Edward slowly growls suddenly gripping the side of the chair I'm tied up in.

"No can do Eddie boy…I've got something of yours"

Spike turns around and from the entry way to the kitchen behind pulls out….Bella Swan.

"Lookie here"

I hang my head in defeat at all this stupidity and hear Bella worried yelling at Spike and I.

"D-Don't hurt Edward…."

I jerk my head up and glare at Bella's horse face as Spike holds her in a wrestler head lock.

"Oh, what are you gonna do Bells…scream at me in your man voice?!"

Everyone goes silent then…….

"WHAT?!"

Spike lets go of Bella only to double over in laughing on the floor.

"G-Good one l-love"

"I HEARD IT!"

We turn and find Alls, Luna, and Izzy all standing behind Ed, and Alls pointing her finger angrily at me.

"How dare you Paige Tohru Collins!"

_Crapola!_

T.B.C.

*Srry soo short but…it's hilarious! R&R AND DON'T HATE AND DON'T R&R IF YOU GONNA BE HATEFUL!! *-Robin


End file.
